Dual....:-)
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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