i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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