have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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