my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
