if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
