i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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