i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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