he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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