even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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