Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Randomize
