No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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