i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
