so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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