his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
