You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize