My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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