no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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