I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
