If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
