She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
