Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
