Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize