I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
