Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize