K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
