im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
