Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
