I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
