The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
