erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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