Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
