i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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