idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
