We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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