i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
