STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
