Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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