I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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