He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
