At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
