Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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