girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
