i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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