after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize