I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize