mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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