im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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