So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
