whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I just sharted jello shots
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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