We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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