i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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