Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
did i just pee glitter
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
