on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
