She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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