So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I sprained my soul last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
