we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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