STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
