I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize