Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
