What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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