Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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