oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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