Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
