well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
