I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
