your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize