I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
