I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
